If you’ve ever been broke, chances are you know what a dollar store is: it’s a store where everything is one or two dollars and under, but where the Cheerios might still have a Dark Knight Rises tie-in. National chains like Dollar Tree and Deals usually carry well-known products or simple off-brand knock-offs. If you’re lucky, however, you live near a locally-owned dollar store like I do, and you’ll find that without the constraints of a national reputation to uphold, these places can sell some awesomely weird products.
Continue reading Super Robot Robots: 7 Weird Dollar Store Toys
Did you know there are still people who genuinely believe in astrology? It’s true! And some of those people use the Internet, which is why I’m getting into this sweet, inexplicably lucrative business. Now I’ve never been to astrology college or… constellation boot camp or whatever, but I am officially certified by the International Academy of Zodiac Arts, an institution that actually exists for all I know. Rest assured, what you’re about to read is as reliable as any horoscope you’ll find anywhere else.
Continue reading Horoscopes (March 23 – 29)
If there’s one thing everyone can agree on, it’s that everybody sucks at driving except you. You’re awesome, everyone else is a goddamn maniac, especially if they’re from a different state. If there’s something else we can all agree on, it’s that life hacks make every part of your day way more efficient. In an effort to take your already unassailable driving skills to the next level, here’s an article that definitely isn’t shameless clickbait: 8 Unbelievable Driving Hacks (That Obama Doesn’t Want You to Know)!
Now, I’m not a licensed driving instructor or anything, but who has time to worry about things like “qualifications” or “a basic understanding of the topic” when you have page views to get? Don’t worry. I’m sure this will go well.
Continue reading 8 Unbelievable Driving Hacks!
You might’ve recently heard the charming news story of when Donald Trump, Republican presidential candidate and billionaire, took some kids in a helicopter ride at a recent campaign stop and was asked by one, “Are you Batman?,” to which Donald Trump replied, “I am Batman.”
Of course, in their haste to report this story, most major news sources seem to have gotten the details of the story wrong. Continue reading The Real Story Behind Donald Trump’s “I Am Batman” Comment
When you work in tech support, most of your customers are actually fairly reasonable, even if they aren’t very computer-minded. Not everybody “gets” computers, and even if you don’t know how to use yours beyond checking your email and trolling for cyber ass, I’ll still be okay with you as long as I don’t hear any of the following sentences come out of your mouth.
Continue reading 3 Sentences Tech Support Hates Hearing
Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream recently released a new flavor called Schweddy Balls based on an Alec Baldwin SNL sketch. While most responses to the name have ranged from apathy to mild amusement, idiots’-rights advocacy group OneMillionMoms responded the only way they know how: freaking right the hell out.
Continue reading Idiots Offended by Ice Cream
“Crappy box art” seems to be a popular topic on gaming web sites, and the American NES version of the first Mega Man game tops every list. What a lot of people don’t realize is that the rest of the Mega Man series could easily round out the rest of such lists.
Continue reading 9 Mega Man Games with Weird Box Art
Professional wrestling is fake. Nobody questions this. It’s like saying Hugh Laurie isn’t a real doctor; we know there’s a script, nobody is shocked to hear that. But sometimes the crazy stuff that occurs in sports entertainment is more legitimate than you realize. For instance…
Continue reading 4 Crazy (Unscripted) Moments in Pro Wrestling
We have to talk, America. I kept my mouth shut when you thought you needed two television programs about pawn shops and seventeen reality shows about baking cakes, but this Extreme Couponing shit has to end. Not only is it just a really stupid idea for a show, but apparently it has now led to the lamest crime wave in history.
Continue reading Coupon Theft is a Real Thing
As part of my continuing effort to present my readers with news that shapes their world, here’s a story the Associated Press ran about a guy who shoved a lot of stuff up his ass. Seriously.
Continue reading World-Class Rectal Smuggler Makes National News Somehow