Some people use social media to post insightful commentary on current events or to share personal stories that they hope will resonate with others, but mostly it’s clickbait and weirdly vague inspirational memes. Well, who am I to see a bandwagon and not jump right the fuck on it? Here are six inspirational, 100% relatable memes you should definitely share on social media with your bored aunt. She loves this shit.
Death is depressing enough without General Mills using it to hawk Cheerios and Hamburger Helper. Check out my latest Cracked.com article, 5 Well-Meaning Tributes That Went Shockingly Wrong. If nothing else, it’ll give your ghost some valuable perspective for when your family spells your name wrong in your obit.
Dear valued customer:
Greetings! I’m Tom, a customer service associate with your electric company. You recently inquired as to why you were charged a one hundred dollar service fee when our technician came to your home, but performed no repairs or services.
We know that charges on your bill can be difficult to understand sometimes, but thankfully the reason for this fee is simple: we like having dollars, and we wanted one hundred more of them.
Did you know there are still people who genuinely believe in astrology? It’s true! And some of those people use the Internet, which is why I’m getting into this sweet, inexplicably lucrative business. Now I’ve never been to astrology college or… constellation boot camp or whatever, but I am officially certified by the International Academy of Zodiac Arts, an institution that actually exists for all I know. Rest assured, what you’re about to read is as reliable as any horoscope you’ll find anywhere else.
If there’s one thing everyone can agree on, it’s that everybody sucks at driving except you. You’re awesome, everyone else is a goddamn maniac, especially if they’re from a different state. If there’s something else we can all agree on, it’s that life hacks make every part of your day way more efficient. In an effort to take your already unassailable driving skills to the next level, here’s an article that definitely isn’t shameless clickbait: 8 Unbelievable Driving Hacks (That Obama Doesn’t Want You to Know)!
Now, I’m not a licensed driving instructor or anything, but who has time to worry about things like “qualifications” or “a basic understanding of the topic” when you have page views to get? Don’t worry. I’m sure this will go well.
When you work in tech support, most of your customers are actually fairly reasonable, even if they aren’t very computer-minded. Not everybody “gets” computers, and even if you don’t know how to use yours beyond checking your email and trolling for cyber ass, I’ll still be okay with you as long as I don’t hear any of the following sentences come out of your mouth.