Horoscopes (March 23 – 29)

Did you know there are still people who genuinely believe in astrology?  It’s true!  And some of those people use the Internet, which is why I’m getting into this sweet, inexplicably lucrative business.  Now I’ve never been to astrology college or… constellation boot camp or whatever, but I am officially certified by the International Academy of Zodiac Arts, an institution that actually exists for all I know.  Rest assured, what you’re about to read is as reliable as any horoscope you’ll find anywhere else.

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8 Unbelievable Driving Hacks!

If there’s one thing everyone can agree on, it’s that everybody sucks at driving except you.  You’re awesome, everyone else is a goddamn maniac, especially if they’re from a different state.  If there’s something else we can all agree on, it’s that life hacks make every part of your day way more efficient.  In an effort to take your already unassailable driving skills to the next level, here’s an article that definitely isn’t shameless clickbait: 8 Unbelievable Driving Hacks (That Obama Doesn’t Want You to Know)! 

Now, I’m not a licensed driving instructor or anything, but who has time to worry about things like “qualifications” or “a basic understanding of the topic” when you have page views to get?  Don’t worry.  I’m sure this will go well.

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The Real Story Behind Donald Trump’s “I Am Batman” Comment

You might’ve recently heard the charming news story of when Donald Trump, Republican presidential candidate and billionaire, took some kids in a helicopter ride at a recent campaign stop and was asked by one, “Are you Batman?,” to which Donald Trump replied, “I am Batman.”

Of course, in their haste to report this story, most major news sources seem to have gotten the details of the story wrong.  Continue reading The Real Story Behind Donald Trump’s “I Am Batman” Comment

3 Sentences Tech Support Hates Hearing

When you work in tech support, most of your customers are actually fairly reasonable, even if they aren’t very computer-minded.  Not everybody “gets” computers, and even if you don’t know how to use yours beyond checking your email and trolling for cyber ass, I’ll still be okay with you as long as I don’t hear any of the following sentences come out of your mouth.

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