Some people use social media to post insightful commentary on current events or to share personal stories that they hope will resonate with others, but mostly it’s clickbait and weirdly vague inspirational memes. Well, who am I to see a bandwagon and not jump right the fuck on it? Here are six inspirational, 100% relatable memes you should definitely share on social media with your bored aunt. She loves this shit.
I tried to warn the world two years ago that every company involved in the production of video games is a gang of treacherous liars. Not only was my shocking exposé snubbed by the Pulitzer committee, it also somehow didn’t grind the world’s largest entertainment industry to a halt. So let’s try again: here’s my latest Cracked article, 5 Shameless Lies Video Game Companies Got Away With (Almost).
Nobody likes a cheap knock-off—that’s why you never hear anyone try to order Dr. Thunder at a restaurant. And it’s no better when you pay $30 for wrestling tickets only to find out the main event is Andrew the Giant versus “Macho Guy” Sandy Ravage. Check out my new WhatCulture article, 7 Wrestlers Who Were Blatant Knock-offs.
An integral judiciary is the backbone of a functioning democracy, but sometimes it really does seem like the courts are just fucking with us. Check out my latest WhatCulture article, 8 Weird Questions That Courts Have Legally Answered.
If you ever felt like Mario had a more violent side he wasn’t showing us, it turns out you were right all along. Check out my latest WhatCulture article, 10 Features You Didn’t Know Were Cut From Classic Video Games, to see how Nintendo very nearly gave us Super Rambo Bros.
Video game consoles go through a lot of changes before they hit stores. Some are pretty well-publicized, like that time Microsoft almost prevented you from sharing Xbox One games as an experiment to see how many people they could sell a PlayStation 4. Others are a little lesser known, and for those, you should check out my first article on WhatCulture, 7 Beloved Video Game Consoles That Were Almost Completely Different.
Advertisements in old-school comic books were a perfect mixture of crazy and irresponsible. For instance, they would routinely try to convince kids to sell salve in exchange for a rifle, and most kids would sign up before even asking what “salve” was. Adults’ reluctance to buy salve from a ten-year-old is the only reason every town in the forties wasn’t overrun by armed child gangs. With that in mind, here are three of the craziest comic book advertisements from that era.
As I’ve already helpfully pointed out, the toy aisle at a dollar store is a lawless hellscape of trademark infringement and cheap plastic. If your kid is a John Cena fan but you don’t have “licensed WWE product” money to throw around, you can bet you’ll find a “Jon C. Nah Wrestler Toy” for a buck, tops. Does your daughter like animals? There will be ten different sets of mixed animal toys, and they will all smell like burning plastic no matter what temperature it is.
The 2016 U.S. presidential election is the hot topic right now, but aside from when I corrected a report about Donald Trump being Batman or when I invited a wasp-besieged guest to blog about the election, I’ve more or less avoided the topic. That’s because, even by our standards, this has become a nasty and divisive election cycle. In the interest of full disclosure, I’m not at all comfortable with Donald Trump’s campaign, but that’s partly because I’m a cog in the vast liberal Zionist feminist New World Order conspiracy. Still, I think it’s important to see topics from more than one perspective (but no more than two, because that would be confusing and nuanced). In that spirit, here’s my attempt to say three nice things about Republican presidential candidate Donald J. Trump.
Death is depressing enough without General Mills using it to hawk Cheerios and Hamburger Helper. Check out my latest Cracked.com article, 5 Well-Meaning Tributes That Went Shockingly Wrong. If nothing else, it’ll give your ghost some valuable perspective for when your family spells your name wrong in your obit.